My Jokes

Are you a printer? Because you turn my soft copy into a hard copy. Dark..Humor :)

I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.

It didn't land well.

Wanna know what my favorite feeling is? Warmth. Fuck, I left the oven on!

My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.

What do you call your mom?

My wwwwiiiiiifffffffeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!@#$%

i know what i’m naming my child

A Google search results page for the search term "p girl names." The results include typical names like "Paige," "Patricia," and "Penelope," but also lists "Pakistan International Airlines."

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.

I know why nobody likes my comments, because they got no sense of humor. That's why they dislike it. Now I know depression is a joke, a joke that never gets a laugh. =[ WHYYYY NO ONE LAUGH AT MY JOKES?

Stranger: Do you want a lollipop?

Kid: No, I hate lollipops, so yeah, and you are not my daddy.

My friend has ligma...

Lick ma balls!

Gwen, we can chat in 2 months. My aunt just died from COVID, and it is taking forever for us to get there to California. I love you, your boyfriend, Prince!

Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."

Girl: Hi (flirt)

Boy: Hi? (reluctant)

Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).

Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...

Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

What do you call nuts on a chin?

My penis in your mouth.

My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.

Yo hairline is a distraction to my education.

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.