My jokes

So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.

My dad starts laughing at me.

Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”

Me: “Why dad?”

Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

What does my dad have in common with Nemo?

They both can’t be found.

Hello, if you don't know me (which you probably don't), my name is watersharky, or WS, or Shark.

I am a normal, weird kid/preteen, and that's it. If you want more info on me, I will gladly share! Shark out.

I have an awesome sex drive. My girlfriend lives 40 miles away.

Girl: Wanna come over to my house?

Orphan: I have to ask if my parents come home.

My wife and I’s gay marriage counselor advised us to watch porn together. So, we decided to try it out one day and search up lesbian shemale porn.

And that’s the day she found out she was a porn star.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

Knock knock, who's there? God.

God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!

My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!

Riddle me this. Riddle me that.

Why did my parents never come back?

My favorite bath bomb is a toaster.

You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"

I got my blind friend a TV... He never uses it.

Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.

Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.

My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

What’s black and white and dead all over? My Chemical Romance.

My brother wanted to sharpen my pencil. I told him he had a point.

Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."