My jokes

Drug

    • Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.

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    • Ketchup

    • I was talking to my old friend. They said, "We should hang out more!"

    I said, "You mean we should ketchup?"

    My memes

    Girlfriend

    • Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

    She’s so nice.

    Paedophile

    • I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!

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    • Meme

    • Deez nuts, can we get much higher?

    Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.

    Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.

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    • Dad

    • Dad: "If they jumped off a bridge, would you?"

    Tommy: "Yes, cuz there would be a body pile to break my fall!"

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    • Pickle

    • Guy: Do you want a nickel?

    Girl: Sure.

    Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

    Girl: 😳😩😩😩

    Headphone

    • A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

    "My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

    And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

    "WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

    And so he did.

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