My wife (or husband) told me to get six cans of Sprite from the grocery store.
I had just realized when I got home that I had picked up 7-Up.
My Jokes
I would have a joke for my friend... but he can't afford the punchline.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
My friend just told me about reverse exorcisms.
In these, the demon tells the priest to get out of the child.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
Once I almost died. I'll give it another shot out of the gun to finish my job.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair. She came crawling back!
I once was playing with my friend and Roblox girlfriend, then one day, they cheated on me. I broke up with her and unfriended him, then I saw my mom and my uncle crying!
Me be like: ;-;
Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.
Me: Yo mama so fat her alphabet starts with O.
My friend: What's that supposed to mean?
Me: O B C D.
If I die, does my depression die with me?
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
Today I asked my phone, Siri, why am I still single?
And I activated the front camera! 😭😭😭😭😭
I like my clocks like I like people.
Under 12.
What do the Twin Towers and my Mom have in common? They both went down on my dad.
What do you call it when an orphan goes to Panera Bread?
"Panera, my parents are dead."
My grandmother made her passage on the Titanic. The ship was not the only thing that went down.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Hey guys, can we stop making these jokes? If my mom sees this, I will never see the sun again.
Oh . . .
:(
Continue.
Me and my friends jumped some orphans. Who will they tell? Their parents?
