My jokes
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head, people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Eat my butt.
"So you dropped my instruments on stage?"
"It was only the Bass!"
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
"I need help, George Sink," said Jimmy.
"What is it?" said George Sink.
"Can you wash my dishes?" said Jimmy.
Someone stole my toilet, and the police have nothing to go on.
I like my girls how I like my wine, 12 years locked in the basement.
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
My friends.
Back in Australia, my puns are high koala-tea!
Jesus Christ said my faith can move mountains, so Mohammed said my faith can move skyscrapers.
My music teacher was investigated, but she was the one that taught me my fingerings.
My mental health.
My acquaintance, William.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my was kicked, let's be friends?
I named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I say, “Get down, Syndrome!”