My jokes

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

Me when I find my sister's diary: oooooo!

My favorite place to make a bonfire? Orphanages, of course, silly!

POV: When the orphan kid goes to church and they have to swear on something.

The kid: "I swear on my... friends. Oh wait, I don't have any."

My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.

how old are my girlfriends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters

I had a steering wheel down my pants, and I tell you what, it was driving my balls crazy!

What did Gordon Ramsay say to Hitler?

“Oh my god, put them back in the damn ovens! They’re so under-cooked they’re writing fucking diaries!”

I was walking down the hallway at my job when I saw a kid crying.

I asked him where his parents were, and he kept crying.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

My brother tried to hit this guy with a plane and but hit the Twin Towers.

For my girlfriend and friends to chat :)

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to change the bulb and one to suck my dick.

Recently my baby did this:

🖕🏼👶🏼🖕🏼 🎽 👖

I told my fam a joke.

They all looked at me weird and one person even said, "I’m sorry!"

I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.

I thought I saw a cool sticker on my office window, then I realized it was getting bigger and bigger.

I asked my now ex-boyfriend why he’s scared of my cat. He said it was because of the scratches on my arm.

I told him that my cat doesn’t scratch, but he didn’t believe me. He realised what I meant when he noticed I kept hiding my wrist from everyone else.

(Kinda based on the fact that my ex is indeed scared of cats, and he has been scared of my cat, so yeah 😂)

What do you call an autistic person? Names.

I'm autistic myself, so don't go crying in my comment section.

I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."

Raju: How about you, Sunil?

Do you know?

Sanju: Sunil is my long distance

is a brother.

Raju: Long brother?

Sanju: Yes, because I live in Ratnagiri and he lives in Nagpur.