My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
My Jokes
My dick hard.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
Being sad is my only happiness.
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
My friend Joe was a great hunter. He always shot like 3 deer every week.
He was even better at school when he bagged 30 of them.
My friend Amir didn’t have the greatest driving record because of all the car crashes he got in. He only crashed his plane once in a building, so he had a much better flying record.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N. Oh my gosh, I'm peeing on my shoe, no one knows about it yet!
My marriage was on the rocks, so I buried my wife under some.
I like my marriages like I like my whiskey: on the rocks.
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Over summer, I shot up my school and left a note saying, "I could have done this anytime!"
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
Sometimes I wish my gf was here, that way we could have some fun in my bed. Then I realize she's right across the hall. (SWEET HOME ALABAMA)!!
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
My owl turned 180 today.
He isn’t old, he just has a bad neck.
I'm funny but sad, I submit jokes you'll love. Look for my name in jokes you've read. Anyway.
What did the man with no hands get for his birthday? Gloves. Just kidding, he didn't have the chance to open the gifts.
