My jokes

One day I was walking around, then saw this mom mad at her kid and screamed, "You're adopted!" He said, "Yeah, I know. My REAL mommy is still at home with daddy."

I love my family.

How do I feed the baby with my pants on?

My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.

Hi! I love my dog.

I got in touch with my inner self today, it's the last time I use 1-ply toilet roll.

Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.

Dinosaurs be like:

".......My friends are dead, like bruhhh."

I have fun with my friends.

I love my new phone.

My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.

I did a good walk and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and walk, walk home, and walk, walk home from school, and people live in the house with my dog. I had to a dog and.

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

My young son saw Trump on TV. He asked, "Why is the man on TV painted orange?" I replied, "Son, when Russia pays that much for equipment, they don't want it to rust."

My sister and I were hanging out when she opened her drawer and pulled out 3 condoms and said, "Pick one."

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

My dad came over late at night. He was drunk. He started telling me how useless I was. Then I went to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and stabbed him in the chest 47 times.

Three minutes later, he died. Now I’m losing my mind and cutting myself.

Teacher: "I'm sorry, but you got a 74 on the test."

Quiet Kid: "I'll show you my own 74."

Classroom: *visible panic*

They say I'll mess up my insides, but I don't have any.

Orphan: I want to kill my parents.

Random kid: I don’t think you have the facilities to do that, big man.