My jokes

A hot woman called "Jessie" was showering when the phone rang.

Jessie was upset because the phone wouldn't stop ringing, and she goes out naked from the bathroom to answer the phone in the hall.

Jessie on the phone: 《Hello? 》

The one on the phone: 《Oh hi, I'm Jeff, I just wanted to tell you don't go out from your bathroom naked next time because my brother is behind you right now trying to rape you.》

Jessie: 《Stop it my sister! This is the 10th time you do this cringe joke! It gets boring!》

But sadly it wasn't a joke, and she cried a lot that night and learned how not to go out naked from the bathroom again.

I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.

A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

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    • Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?

    He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.

    Oh wait.

    You fool!

    I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.

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    • I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"

    I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.

    I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.

    The other day someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how to feel about that.

    My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

    My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"

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