New My Jokes - Page 259 - Worst Jokes Ever

My penis is tied in a knot.

If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

I would tell you my jokes about pogs, but they would eventually get too boar-ing.

To whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you are happy now.

My name is Caleb, and I like boo and eat it.

I pooped in a bottle and stuck my finger through it.

I took some of the boo boo out, licked it, and rubbed it on a wall, making a BOO BOO portal. I jumped into it and I saw BOO BOO LAND. I rolled all in the chunk poop and drank the diarrhea.

At night, before I got in bed with my girl, I had 206 bones, but I developed a 207th bone.

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.

My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"

My name is Mike Oxmaul, and my friend's name is Hugh Janus!

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.

A bully walks up to a kid named Billy to insult him and steal his lunch money.

Later that night when he is at home, the bully’s father comes into his room to insult him and take the lunch money he stole.

The father walks down stair to check on his father in the living room. When he walks in, his father insults him and takes the lunch money.

The grandfather of the bully walks into the back yard and in the dark is Billy. The grandfather walks up to him and says “Where’s my money, you worthless old fart?”