My jokes

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

Abraham Lincoln was a good man, he jumped out the window with his dick in his hand and walked up to a group of ladies and said I'm doing my duty so why don't you give me some booty?

There was a man named Matt that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, "I am here to tell you my sins." He was all for it and said, "Go ahead."

Matt, "Father, last night I almost cheated on my wife."

Priest, "How so?"

Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything, just rubbed each other, that's all."

Priest, "RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! For your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box!"

Matt, "Okay, I promise not to see her again."

Then Matt walks out the door.

Priest, "Hey! I saw you! You didn't put any money in the donation box!!"

Matt, "Yes I did. I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in."

Okay, the time has come... I am finally leaving this website, so yeah.

I'm going to enjoy my life, so yeah.

I'm going to leave now, so bye.

Okay, is this the new thing, saying "Gwen" in your "joke," then people will comment and you can make more friends? If so, then I really need to be saying "Gwen" more in my "jokes or chats."

Can you guys check out my joke, please?

My grandpa killed 100 German soldiers; he was the worst German pilot ever.

I still remember my grandpa's last words; "Is that loaded?"

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

I broke up with my RBLX gf, and I heard my uncle crying in the other room.

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone.

I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.

Do you know the TV show "Naked and Afraid?" Well, that's what my grandpa and I played when I was young.

My grandpa may be a pedo, but at least he slows down in the school car park.

My friend said I was gay, but then I realised he was talking to the mirror.

I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"

My Dad said he got me from the shops, and I remembered what Grandpa said about him.

I heard that my crush got kicked in the balls and when I thought of it...

My boyfriend's sister is mad because I smashed his girl.

Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.

Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!

Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texted Oerien last night around 2:00 AM?

Jalie: NO, I NEVER DID THAT!

Karien: Jalie, stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.