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My Jokes
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
My grandpa was amazing. He killed Hitler.
What are some other names for rape? There’s the classic “struggle snuggle,” but then there’s my personal favorite “fuck fight”.
My therapist said: "Time heals all wounds."
I shot her, now we wait.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
Lick my nut.
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
The Titanic, just like my phone, IT JUST WON'T SYNC.
Edit: Never mind, it started to sync...
Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.
What is the difference when I have my dick in your mouth or when you have yours in mine?
Oh, I forgot, you don't got one, bitches, suck my dick.
My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.
Man: *behind the women* She's so ugly!
Woman: My back is not a voicemail, unless you're a coward and can only say it behind my back to my face.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
I laughed at their chalk outline.
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. After he rubbed it, a genie came out and said, "You have 10 seconds to have one wish." Little Johnny says he wants to pee alcohol. The genie grants his wish. He tells his family, and his sister doesn't believe it. After having a drink, she says, "We should have this every night!" Little Johnny gets two cups every night, one for him and his sister. He does the same thing for four nights. Eventually, he ran out of cups and has one left. He gives it to himself, and his sister asks, "Where's my cup?" Little Johnny replied, "You're drinking out of the bottle tonight."
Roblox jokes on this page in a nutshell: something about Roblox girlfriends, and "Add me on Roblox. My name is Sonicboy100299easyarsenaltowerofhellproxdlol."
Yesterday I was asked where my parents are. I said, "Getting milk."
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing. Except at a funeral.
The school shooter when the cops show up be like:
"Ain't nothing gonna break my stride, ain't nothing gonna hold me down. Oh oh. I've got to keep on moving."
