My Jokes

My great grandpa killed Hitler.

My dad died in 9/11. He was the best pilot.

You are like my girlfriend: imaginary and non-existent.

What do you call lesbians having sex?

My cheating dyke ex-wife!

What's the difference between a goat and a sex slave?

I don't have a slave in my sex dungeon.

What's the difference between a Porsche and 50 dead babies?

..... I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.

That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.

Tell me morbid jokes in comments so I have some jokes for my friend.

Here’s another joke my friend told me.

What did the school shooter do when the librarian told him to be quiet? Pulled out a silencer.

I’m back and have a joke my friend said!

Person 1: My brother's Halloween costume is so ugly.

Person 2: What was it?

Person 1: He went as himself.

What did Trump say to Epstein? "I like my tea like I like my teens: warm, sweet, and freshly made."

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

I got jealous when my phone died.

A noose, a knife, a gun, and a razor blade look at a child who committed suicide after being bullied.

Everyone looked at the noose. The noose would say, "What? It wasn't my fault!"

My mom told me we were flying to a building to see my aunt. I wondered, "Are we about to relive 9/11?"

I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.

I was fuming when I lost my job as a window cleaner, like who built the Twin Towers anyway?

I asked the emo at my school if he got jealous when his phone died.