My jokes

I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Tell me a joke about my hairline.

No, because he don't got one, feel like Donald Trump, it don't move.

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

I put this joke so the amount of jokes will be 69. Also, I have 50 kids in my basement. I fed "Twinkies" last night.

My friend told me an EMO joke once, and I said, "EMO jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"

Hey guys, it's Hailey here.

I'ma start off with henlo ;-;

I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.

So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.

Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.

I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.

Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.

I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.

She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.

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    • I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.

    They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.