Music jokes
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses?
To SHADE the HATERS!
Why did the rapper bring a clock to the stage?
To keep track of his rhyme time.
He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies? Windows plays the shutdown music.
You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.
What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?
A Cake By The Ocean.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
Someone fucked a member of BTS.
LET'S GOOOO!
What fish sings?
A tuna.
People with wheelchairs listen to "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.
What do you get when you cross a rapper with a snowman?
FROSTY RHYMES!
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the beats.