Nicolas Cage jokes

What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?

Cocaine.

One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

Chuck Norris would have died a couple of years ago, but death hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.