Music jokes
How does a rapper keep track of time?
With his rhyming watch!
What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?
Jay-Z and B.
What’s a rapper’s favorite computer key?
The space bar... it lets them space out their rhymes!
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of fishing?
Catching BIG BASS.
Memes
Why did the rapper sit on the stool?
Because he had too much FLOW to stand still!
Why did the rapper apologize to the sidewalk?
He didn’t mean to SPIT that hard.
What's a booty's favorite dance move?
THE BUM BOUNCE!
Why don't rappers use the subway?
Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.
What do you call a rapper with bad manners?
RUDE-ICROUS
Why was the rapper bad at basketball?
He could only dribble rhymes.
What’s a rapper’s favorite kind of SODA?
Dr. Dre Pepper.
Why did the rapper bring a calculator to the concert?
To COUNT his BARS.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.
What do you call a rapper's favorite insect?
A flow bee.
Why is the sinking of Titanic different to sinking rapboat?
Titanic sinking was a tragedy, rapboat sinking is fucking funny.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."