Music jokes
Which band doesn’t make music?
One Direction.
What's the difference between a fish and a guitar?
You can tuna guitar, but you can't tuna fish!
So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"
I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.
What’s a sheep’s favorite song?
"Baby Don’t Herd Me."
What is a baby's favorite song?
"Baby" by Justin Bieber.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
I was going to tell a joke about emos in the sea, but it’s dead in the water.
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
What did Eminem do when he couldn't get some of his mom's spaghetti?
Well, he didn't make it back to recovery this time...
- Hey, are you single?
- No, I'm album.
What do you call a router in a thong?
CISCO....(that thong thong thong thong!)
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Using modern day technology you can produce music with a Tesla coil. I don't know if you heard it, but it is quite shocking and even electrifying. I can't tell if it is metal or techno, but it is more valuable than joules. It really amps up your blood pressure and has you saying watt the whole time. It is way better than current music.
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
What's got 9 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard.