Music jokes
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.
So I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.
So THEN I bought a LED whistle but it steel wooden LED me whistle.
I bought a new shotgun the other day. Want to know what I called it?
Kurt Cobain's microphone.
Alright, my sister is ALWAYS dancing randomly all the time, and what I say is, "Go get you boyfriend, dude!"
Why didn't the drummer play?
Because he got a percussion.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
I remember the first time I went to one of Luis Fonsi's concerts...
I wanted to commit DEATHpacito so badly.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
God, I miss Stephen Hawking.
He was brainier than Kurt Cobain's ceiling.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Skeletons love to be in band. They love the trombone!
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
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Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Yeah.
Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
What’s Stephen Hawking's favorite song? Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes.