Mum jokes
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.
Your mum is so fat, all her relationships are long distance.
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
Go to the replies, look at the top and it will say "in your mum."
Little off topic but...
Mum: You wouldn't be here without me.
Son: And my birth certificate is a sorry letter from the condom factory.
Mum: Fair point.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
The little camel asks his mother: "Mum, why do we have these big humps?"
"Because in these humps there is some water, and in the hot desert we can drink."
"And Mum, why do we have this large fur?"
"Because the desert at night is so cold, and then we don’t feel cold."
"And Mum, why do we got these big hoofs?"
"Because the desert sand is hot, and the hoofs save us from the hot sand."
"But Mum, what the fuck are we doing here in the national zoo?"
Your mum is so fat, when the doctors did her x-ray, the doctor said to her, "I want your x-ray, not an elephant's x-ray!"
Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!
Your mum is so fat, when she was in front of my apartment, I couldn't get in.
Your mum is so fat, when she roleplayed Wonder Woman, she couldn't fit in the invisible jet.
Your mum is so fat, flat earthers think she's round!
You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
Your mum's so fat, she broke Britain too!
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
Mom: Hey son, what does "idk" and "idc" mean?
Son: I don’t know and I don’t care.
Mom: Excuse me?
Son: Oh, and by the way, Mom, what’s for dinner?
I don’t know and I don’t care.
Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.
One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."