Mum

Mum jokes

“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.

I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”

"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝

Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."

Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.

Kid: Hey, Mum, why are we pushing the car off the cliff?

Mum: Shut up, son, you’ll wake your father!

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Your mum is so fat, when she reached for the remote, when she found it, it was crushed.