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Random words in my keyboard:

The most annoying part of this game has always been that the players don’t know how much time it takes to get to the table before you start playing them.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Yo mama is so stupid that she asked how much is a free sample.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much.

But in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

I'm actually against abortion.

Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

Why can orphans travel around so much?

A. They never get homesick.

What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!

What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?

Not much difference.

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*