Movie jokes
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Thanos snapped.
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!
What's an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
The reason your dad never came back with the milk is 'cause he ran 88 mph downhill.
"Transgenders men in disguise".... A xxx Transformers parody coming soon to DVD.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.
What is King Kong for dinner?
Humans.
Heard Stephen Hawking is in a new movie and that the theme tune is absolutely banging. Think the opening line goes something like, “They see me rolling, they hating.”
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What do you call a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bill Cosby?
Predator.
Little Timmy is hanging out with Rapunzel, and he mentions Hugo and a few other characters from Varian And The Seven Kingdoms, and she responds with, “Who the frick are you talking about? Since I don’t know them, I got a surprise for you!” She wraps him up in Christmas wrapping paper labeled "For Eugene."
Spaceballs: The Comment.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What did Nemo say to the emo?
"Be careful, you can't Nemo your way out of emo."
What is the worst movie to watch at an orphanage? Batman.