Movie jokes

What actor does an orphan hate?

Vin Diesel.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

Why do orphans love Home Alone?

They like to see a familiar picture.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

An action hero stops a man running by throwing a tire at him.

What is his one liner? "I told you to stop running or you will get tired."

What is a mouse's favorite movie?

"Sharpay's Fabu-mouse Adventure!"

Why can't orphans watch PG?

They don't have any parental guidance.

What show do orphans relate to? I'm going with "The Hunger Games."

We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.

What is Michael Jackson's favorite movie?

The Boy in the Plastic Bubble? Why? The boy who was in the bubble.

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.

What is the difference between me and Paul Walker?

I’ve watched Fast and Furious Seven.

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?

Alien vs. Predator.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."