Movie jokes
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
I watched a movie about bones. It was spine-tingling!
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Q: What movie do emos relate the most to?
A: Suicide Squad.
Bro, you can't talk; you look like the dwarf from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
A famous celebrity admitted that she was non-straight, suffered from a rare condition that changed the colour of her skin, did not age well, only wanted to be compensated for her work in the 5th month of each year at her favourite store while laying down:
TO GET FAYE'S WAY, PAY GRAY, GRAY, GAY FAYE WRAY IN MAY AND LAY HER DOWN AT "THE BAY". OK!!!
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
Your momma is so fat, she was in a movie and the screen broke!
Q: Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
A: Because all shows and movies have a cast.
Why did half of the world not see Avengers: Endgame?
Because half of them were Thanos snapped in Avengers: Infinity War.
When you feel lonely, just watch a scary movie.
You won't feel lonely anymore :(
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie.
What's the difference between my dad and Nemo?
I don't know. I still haven't found them.
What actor does an orphan hate?
Vin Diesel.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.