Movie

Movie jokes

Cancer

Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."

Nurse: *Laughs*

Kid: "Why are you laughing?"

Nurse: "When I get OLDER."

Proceeds to laugh.

Orphan

What is an orphan's favorite movie? Hint, not Home Alone. It's actually Batman, 'cause they are 50% the same as him.

Memes

Superman

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.

Snack

I’d like to take you to the movies, but unfortunately, they don’t let you bring your own snacks.

Elsa

I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.

Oompa loompa

Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?

They wanted some chocolate balls.

Anime

New horror movie idea.

The main character loves anime. The killer yells "Omae wa mou shindeiru." The main character instinctively yells back "NANI???" and is killed.

Sequel

Have you heard of the new sequel to "The Exorcist"?

A woman hires the devil to get a priest out of her son.

Life

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

Star Wars

Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Yoda was in charge of scheduling.

Fish

Things we all do:

Call the Royal blue tang fish the "Dory fish," and the Clownfish "Nemo fish"! 🤣

I do this too often!

Batman

Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?

A: Batman “returns.”

Orphan

I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.