Movie jokes

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite line in Rambo?

"Don't push me."

Megamind.

Why is an orphan crying about its family?

Because it can't "let it go."

I rate the atmosphere of Israel a 10/7; real good stuff there, looks like an actual movie!

What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?

Obi-Wan Cannoli.

I was Gandalf the Grey.

But now, after just three washes...

I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.

Octopussy.

So, there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, "what is one plus one?" She said, "I HATE YOU." Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, "My buns are burning." Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Bobby said, "NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN!" The principal yelled, "HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?!" Then he said, "85 SMACK EM DOWN!" Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, "my buns are burning."

When the emo girl is in a movie and the director says, "Cut."

Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.

This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.

Why did the banana like the movie?

Because it was apeeling.

Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?

'Cause she will let it go.

Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.

Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?

Palpatine: Review it.

Why do orphans hate Dom Toretto?

Because they hate how he cares about family.

A Chinese drug dealer said to me, "Do you like my cocaine?"

I replied, "Not since he starred in Zulu."

They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!

Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?

A. "We're in the Matrix."

What is an orphan's favorite naval film?

"Spider-Man: No Way Home."