Movie jokes
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
*New teacher walks in* New Teacher: Hi there, class. My name is Mr. Willy. I will be your math teacher.
*Me in shock, "Willy"* Me: Willy Wonka, is that you?
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
When you're watching "Gnomeo and Juliet 2" and your dad walks in on the gnome shaking his butt.
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
What is the favorite movie of orphans?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"
And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"
I heard Steven Spielberg is coming out with a new movie about fat people called E.C.
(Extra Cholesterol)
If James Bond is the most famous spy, wouldn't that also make him the worst spy?
Guess why a lot of orphans were in "Home Alone"? Because their family left them.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Your mamma so fat Thanos had to clap 4 times.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Why does no one like Hitler when he goes to the movies?
Because he would count, "zehn, neun", and then it would all turn green.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Why do orphans like Darth Vader?
So he can say, "I'm your father!"
What would be the most heartbreaking scene in a dementia film? I forgor 💀.
Your forehead is so big that it said, "To be continued."