I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Why does Wednesday Addams never blink?
Why is Paul Walker a walker?
To let people know he isn't a driver.
Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg
Shrek once went to the movies and when he sat down he felt this slimy and sticky feeling on the chair, so he stood up and complained about his chair being dirty... until he realized that he forgot to wipe earlier... so he stopped complaining and went back to his chair and sat back down.
Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.
What's white but not black, and red all over?
J. K. Rowling after attending the world premiere of the next Matrix movie.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
I saw a kid in a wheelchair and I screamed, "EXTREME PARKOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine if the kid in a wheelchair was in Fast and Furious. His wheelchair is the only one that keeps him going.
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
The dinner.
What does Buzz Lightyear and an orphan's parents have in common?
They go to infinity and beyond.
My family was watching Home Alone 2, so whenever Kevin was at the top of the Twin Towers, I threw a paper airplane at the T.V.
why cant orphans watch pg movies. parental guidence
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can’t be found.
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Where does a cow take his date?
Answer: To the moooooovies!
Did you guys know that Chancellor Palpatine is suing Nike?
Apparently, the company stole his slogan: Just "Do It."
I got kicked out of Social Studies class when my teacher made us watch a women's rights documentary. When he asked us what the genre of the film was, I put my hand up and said "Fiction."
