Movie jokes
Why would an orphan be a good Spider-Man?
Because his parents will be far from home.
I can explain Superman and Batman movies in one sentence.
Two orphans fighting in the rain.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
What is something you can’t say in a superhero movie?
“Is it a bird, is it a plane, well whatever it is, it’s heading straight for the World Trade Center.”
We see the movie Aladdin, and Abu steals more than Aladdin. I’m surprised that Abu hasn’t gotten killed yet.
You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
Yo ass so fat that you can't see your toes.
When you go to the movies, you take up seven rows.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
My teacher made us watch a movie about the struggles of being an overweight person in this day and age.
It was really heavy on me.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Why [doesn't] Hollywood make a good movie about holocausts?
Because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters.
The Titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the Titanic ship cost $400 million to construct.
Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
Why do people hate Velma now?
Because she joined the Dark Side.
Your dad's Spider-Man because he's far from home.
Every time a Light Saber goes off, it's just a Jedi Master getting hard over a kid. Lol.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.