Motivation jokes
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.
ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!
Why do orphans go to church? So that they can call someone Father.
Why do girls play handball? Because they want to feel balls.
But then why do boys want to? Oh...
Orphan kids only play GTA5 so they can be wanted.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
You know why Elmer Fudd always came out hunting rabbits in the woods? Because Bugs Bunny would not stop flirting with his girlfriend.
Your money, you bully's everything you hate.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That’ll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
It’s about drive, it’s about power, We stay hungry, we devour, Put in the work, put in hours, And take what’s ours.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?
Who needs parents to be great?