Motivation

Motivation jokes

Speaker

    • I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.

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    • Suicide

    • I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

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    • Motivation memes

    Monster

    • What do you call a retarded three legged doggo heckin pupper monster? A 1996 Dodge Neon with a broken tail light cover and 166,748.46 miles on the odometer.

    It could use a tune up and it needs a new transmission soon. New rear tires and a new radiator. Test drives with cash in hand. HMU motivated seller. Don’t waste my time and no lowballs.

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    • Depression

    • OTHERS (MOTIVATED): If I had FLYING as a SUPERPOWER, FALLING would be the BEGINNING STAGE.

    ME (DEPRESSED): OK, GOOD IDEA! LETS FALL OFF THE CLIFF AND FLY TO HEAVEN!!

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    • Move

    • POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?

    Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?

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    • Shooting

    • After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.

    They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.

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    • Libertarian Party

    • The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?

    Because it is politically motivated.

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    • Name

    • 1. Full name: John.

    2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.

    3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.

    4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.

    5. Mental health: mentally retarded.

    6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.

    7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.

    8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.

    9. Working motivation: none.

    I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.

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    • Flight

    • I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!

    At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"

    Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.

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    • Airforce

    • USS Liberty. Never forget.

    It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.

    Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?

    Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...

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