Motivation jokes
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, 1 to change the lightbulb, 9 to talk about how inspired they are?
Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?
Because momma never raised no pussy.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.
Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep... That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
what is less than 0?
my will to live.
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
I became anti-furry because I don't want Doom Slayer after me.
I finally stopped drinking for good.
Now I purely drink for evil.
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
1. Full name: John.
2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run.
3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream.
4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated.
5. Mental health: mentally retarded.
6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit.
7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named Redwing and the lizard named Notail.
8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock.
9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John.
Why did the chicken cross the road why? Because they wanted to kick someone in the family.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.