Motivation jokes
Why did a cop in the 1960s cross the road? To arrest a faggot for cross-dressing.
USS Liberty. Never forget.
It was bombed and destroyed by the Israeli airforce. Thirty-four dead, 171 wounded. The official story says “accident,” yet an American flag was clearly visible on the ship.
Motive: An attempt to cut off our foreign intelligence on Israel? Blame the bombing on an Arab country?
Just imagine if any other nation bombed an American ship...
A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.
A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
My boss said “dress for the job you want, not for the job you have.” So I went in as Batman.
Motivational quote for today: if you think you're dumb, you're probably overestimating your intellectual abilities...
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Why didn’t the train kill nine families of four?
Because he had no loco-MOTIVE. AHAHAH
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Want to know something? Jason and Michael Myers had to watch their family while they have to live forever. That's why they kill; they're trying to make people experience what they did.
I was working at a check-in station for a flight to Riyadh when suddenly I was approached by Benzema, Kante, and Neymar!
At first I was very surprised and curious, so I asked them why they decided to play in the Saudi Pro League and not MLS where GOAT Messi plays. They all smiled and happily replied: "Don't you know, the legendary bench warmer PRISTIANO PENALDO plays there!"
Now I fully understood what they meant! They know that Pristiano is already finished, so winning trophies will be easy for them. I smiled and happily let them through.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
What do you call a fat motivational speaker?
Four chin teller.
Guy, your hairline was the reason Adolf Hitler said, "Let there be war!"
Who needs parents to be great?
Hang in there, you all, Literally.
I know this place may be cruel, but hang in there!
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.