Morning

Morning jokes

Rape

    • I miss the good old days when you could have a light joke at someone else's expense. Like doing that marital rape thing, it never used to be called that. It used to be called "serving your husband" or "wifely duties". The real joke is that it was legal until 1990.

    Why is that a joke?

    Because it is piss funny seeing the look on her face when she wakes up in the middle of coitus.

    Why is that a joke?

    Dude, come on, you want to start your day off happy or not?

    Why is that a joke?

    She literally looks like she just seen a ghost and sort of flops about trying to fend you off like a rag doll. It's piss funny.

    No seriously, dude, why is that a joke? It sounds more like a felony.

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    • Mama

    • Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.

    Morning memes

    Boat

    • One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

    Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

    Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

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    • Man

    • It’s raining, it’s pouring. The old man is snoring. He got shot in the head and didn’t wake up in the morning.

    Pig

    • Teacher: Ok class good morning, we are going to start off by what kind of sound animals make.

    Teacher: Ok, what sound does a pig make?

    Class: A cow says mo mo.

    Teacher: Good.

    Teacher: What does a sheep make?

    Class: A sheep says maa maaa.

    Teacher: Good! Now what does a pig say?

    Little Johnny: A pig says "Put your hands up and get agenst the wall you black mother fucke*."

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    • Jesus

    • Guys, this is so disrespectful, I love Jesus. I go to church every Tuesday morning to give Jesus a... giffffffft.

    So disrespectful guys. #jesusismyhubby

    Site

    • I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.

    What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!

    Boy

    • I wrote a few jokes:

    What does a 15-year-old boy do without two hands when his parents are not at home? Well, obviously do not jerk off.

    Yesterday a girl from my job invited me to her home and there I had crazy sex. I could not think that her mother is so hot.

    What will happen the morning after the destruction of humanity? Duncan MacLeod makes himself breakfast.

    Cucumber

    • A woman went into her garden and danced in front of her vegetables.

    The next morning, her corn didn’t grow, and the tomatoes didn’t blush or turn red, but the cucumbers grew four inches.

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    • Poop

    • Jeffy: "Daddy, Daddy, a monster said it’s gonna poop in your hat!"

    Marvin: "I don’t believe that."

    Jeffy: "But he said, 'Jeffy, I’m gonna poop in your Daddy’s hat!'"

    The next morning,

    Jeffy: "Daddy, a monster pooped in your hat!"

    *Marvin/Mario looks in his hat*

    Marvin: "Jeffy, I don’t believe you, you pooped in my hat!"

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