Morbid Jokes

Top 1 best football player 🏈 in the world.

“The guy who tackles the Make-A-Wish kid!”

What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?

They both drop.

How do you keep a blind kid entertained?

You take him to a stadium crowd, then give him a bat and tell him to hit the piñata.

What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?

“They both blow heads.”

I love telling jokes about orphans.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I looked up how fast cum shoots and it said 28 mph. That means that ejaculation is illegal in school zones!

If a crippled man told stories about himself, would that be called VeggieTales?

I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.

Why are women like hurricanes?

They come in nasty and wet, then leave with your house and car.

What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?

Are you ready kids?

"Namaste, 6 feet away, or I'll blow you away with this AK!"

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.

What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?

The wheelchair.

What's the difference between my ass and the toddlers in my uncle's basement?

My ass doesn't cry when he sticks it in late at night.

My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.

One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.

Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."