I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
Morbid Jokes
What's the square root of your dead?
9/11.
Instead of the line, "This girl's on fire," my friend can relate to, "The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the f*ck out!"
Why was 10 scared? Cause he saw 9 rape 11.
Rape, 9/11, abortion, orphan, murder, dead, kill, drugs.
What makes all these categories so familiar? Either you've experienced them, or made them up in your backstory.
October 1, 2017 is when the Mandalay Bay became the Mandalay spray. Thank Steve for that.
Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:
"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
An emo girl and a squirrel both fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The squirrel. The rope stops the emo girl.
Like if you like school (I mean if you don't)!
A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
If at first you don't succeed, cheat.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
