When your baby is stillborn and you have a funeral, what song should you never play?
Alphaville - "Forever Young."
Morbid Jokes
The mom: "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road, honey?"
The dad: "Everywhere."
Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.
An Emo kid in a tree falls. At the same time an apple falls from the same tree, what hits the ground first? The apple would be due to the kid's rope and noose.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
I'd tell a slavery joke, but they've been flogged to death.
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Why couldn't Sally get back up? Because she has no friends.
Said the man angered to his wife:
"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"
What did the egg say to the tuna?
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.
