Morbid jokes
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
If at first you don't succeed, cheat.
If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.
What do you call an alligator that reads maps? Navigator.
My grandpa told me I was too dependent on devices. I told him he was a hypocrite and unplugged him from his life support.
Why is Afghanistan good at chess? They take the rooks out fast.
What is the biggest fear of an American soldier taking a piss in a bush during the Vietnam war? His manhood will be chopped off.
After the drive-by, Tupac became known as Pewpac.
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
What's a Parkinson's victim's least favorite song?
Taylor Swift - "Shake it Off".
What's the difference between an Afghan kindergarten and a military target?
The drone guy didn't know either.
It's not a joke.
I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.
Guess who likes vegetables now?
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Americans: Miles per hour.
Europeans: Bullets per kid...
What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?
An airstrike.
Osama Bin Laden is his name.
Crashing planes is his game.