Morbid Jokes

I seen a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back, one of em was having fun getting his knot tying badge.

What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?

Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.

What should i write a joke about? Name the subject, and i’ll make a joke about it.

Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky. Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.

Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.

Knock knock who there joe mama

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning. And my driver’s license got revoked too.

what happens when you put a baby in a blender

The baby is a cherry smoothie

What is white, then red, and is very fast?

My chainsaw blade

Whats the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann? They are both full of seamen and a the bottom of the sea

In the bus, you can't spell black without back.

I went home to my girlfriend, with milk! She said, "Oh thank you honey!"

Then I got a call from a girl named Melissa. She called and said, "Steven, where the hell have you been? It's been two weeks and you still haven't come back yet?"

In the hospital they need to keep the disabled patients rooms cooler than the other patients rooms. Why? They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

This native American won't stop talking shit about me, so I said "please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors".

A girl in my class started barking and I yelled out "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her and I felt bad after school I asked to drive her home and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one I yelled " THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car

Imagine orphans watching spiderman no way home.

So a mom and a dad are having sex, their daughter comes down and says, "mommy mommy, what are you doing?" The mom goes, "Uh, were making a cake, let's go back to bed." So she tucks her daughter in and says, "We will go to the park tomorrow." So the next day they go to the park and two teens are going at it in some bushes and the little girl goes,"mommy mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake, let's go back home." So they go home and the mom tucked her Indo bed and says "tomorrow we will go to the zoo." And so the next day they go to the zoo and two monkeys are going at it and the girl goes "my mommy, what are they doing?" And the mom goes "they're making a cake let's go back home." And so they go home and the girl goes "mommy, did you and daddy make a cake last night?" And the mom nervously says "n-no why?" And the little girl goes "because I licked the icing off the couch."