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Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

I thought it was polite to open the door for a lady, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

What is Bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you.

What do you call someone who gets killed at 12 o'clock on New Year's? First kill of the match.

Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?

One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

I saw a bus the other day with some boy scouts at the back. One of them was having fun getting his knot-tying badge.

What did the cannibal do after eating all the vegetables?

Sold the wheelchairs on eBay.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.

Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.