Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

My dad's the oldest, and when he was young, he shot my grandpa's balls off, but I thought about it. How does my dad have younger brothers?

If you are going to make fun of someone, make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Double whammy.

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer, it never gets old.

A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."

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Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.

I keep it in a jar on my desk.

My son asked me how I'm so clean, "inside out." I told him because of bleach. The next day, I found him drinking the bleach.

I like my men like I like my whiskey: Irish and put in a barrel for 2 years with barely any oxygen.