Morbid Jokes

Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I popped some fireworks and told my Vietnamese grandfather that World War 3 started.

I'm better than you in every single way.... I even have an extra chromosome.

According to statistics 5 of 6 people enjoy gang rape.

Did you know Cobain had dandruff? Yep. They found his head and shoulders all over the back of his couch.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

How did stephen hawking die?

He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall

So I didn't want my mom going through my laptop so I put a touch screen on it where you just have to tap the screen to unlock it jokes on her she doesn't have any fingers.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!

After work, i volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.

What do u call a white person having a seizure

A vanilla shake

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

At the resturant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "Cuz she clearly has no taste." She responded.

I was walking down main street when I saw a child.

I told him, "I will give you 20$ if you get a my balls back from the vet."

He replied, "Why did they take your balls sir?

"Beer plus going to the vet does not work well for everybody, expeciy when your a furry."

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," say Satan. "What is it?" The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl." Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?" The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."