The doctor told me I had aids I said it's your fault sister.
What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?
"A Twix."
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
My dad died the other day but, i was able to hear his last words"son are you still holding the ladder"
Why are babies called bundles of joys? When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
I keep looking for my girlfriends killer but no one wants to do it.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor.
A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by bus
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, “Down, Syndrome!”
I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console but the game kept crashing
Teacher: what's your favorite animal
Me: Desert Eagle
Teacher:why?
Me:cause it fits in my backpack
Never attempt to foreshadow your own death you may end up regretting it, you can chop me up and throw me in the fridge if i’m wrong.
What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
I made a website for orphans, but sadly it didn't have a home page.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
When I was a child, my parents told me my uncle was ‘sleeping with the fishes’. At first, I thought he bought a water bed, but I then discovered he was killed and buried at sea.
what do you call a burning church?
Holy Smokes
