Someone at school judged my grammar. I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.
My Xbox has been acting up lately...
So I painted it black to make it run faster
how do you get more presents from santa? you tickle his sack
When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster
at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I'm a butcher
What did me an my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid
lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word i prefer créme de la meow meow
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
the feather. the rope stopped the kid
What do you call a hot tub full of special ed students? Vegetable Soup
This boy in my high school choir class had a decently big forehead so I leaned in and said "You know, if you painted an H on your forehead, maybe Kobe would've landed"
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common? They both light up the room
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing eachother and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say "Dad I have to go to school soon"
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down
What's the difference between a man and a table. The table doesn't cry when I break it's legs
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
A boy breaks a vase and his mom says its ok honey mistakes happen how do you think you were born
What is the difference between American teenage girls and Muslim teenage girls? -- American teenage girls get stoned *before* they have sex.
Kid: dad what is it like to be drunk Dad: you see those 2 trees over there, if you were drunk you would see 4 Kid: dad there is only 1 tree
Q. what walks through alleys and has hole in in it. A. batman's parents
knock knock
who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy
GO AWAY!
