Morbid Jokes

Who are the fastest readers of all time?

People who jumped out of the twin towers. Why? Because they went through 13 stories within 5 seconds.

lowkey "discharge" is an ugly word i prefer créme de la meow meow

My nickname should be night light...because kids turn me on...

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana, Jack got high pulled down his fly and ask if she wanna, Jill said yes and pulled up her dress and had a little fun, stupid Jill forgot the pill now they have a son

Who and the fastest readers in the world??

The people in the twin towers cause they went through over 100 stories in lest then 10 minutes

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

what con you say both at a funeral and during sex???

this whould be much better if you where alive

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

what is the difference between a apple and a orpahan

apple's are actualy picked

Why doesn’t the US wanna play chess with the UK?

The US is already down 2 towers and the UK has a unkillable queen.

When the speedbump in a school zone screams so you go faster

A starving homeless kid ask me for food

I said "sorry,my plate is full"

Why is USA so bad at chess

Because they already lost two towers

There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don't have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You're right it's very nice but i'have one thing that you don't have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don't have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don't have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I'm rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I'm rich.Why you have something that I don't have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.