What was stephan Hawkins last words\windows10shutting down
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.
Most states:
"It's ok, it won't be awkward. We're still friends."
Alabama:
"She didn't wanna be my girlfriend anymore. But she said she'll still be my sister."
A suicide bomber's biggest fear is dying alone
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
-Lift up your foot
What is the difference between a plane and a helicoptor.
A plane hits a building but a helicopter hits the floor
What's the difference between a hamster and a cigarette? They're both harmless until you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13 foot deep pool.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: he got shot
The orphanage was open in apps but I didn’t see the home button.
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Three blondes were taking a walk when they stumbled on some tracks. They argued on what the tracks came from. One of them said “it’s a deer.” The other said it “No it’s a coyote.” The last one was going to give her thoughts, but that was when the train hit them.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is. So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks 'What are you?', the baby bunny replies 'Well I'm a baby bunny. What are you?' the baby skunk says 'Well I don't know am I a baby bunny too?' the baby bunny says 'No you're not a baby bunny.' so the baby skunk asks 'Well what am I then?' the baby bunny replies 'Well you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white so you must be Mexican.'
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly officer I never heard her say no.
I bought a gun from Walmart today. I guess they knew what I was going to do with it, because when I pulled the gun on the cashier, I realized the firing mechanism was in reverse.
give a man a fish feed him for a day
give a man a poison fish feed him for a lifetime
What's Michael Jackson's favourite thing to do on guitar? Fingering A minor
The doctor told me I had aids I said it's your fault sister.
This is how my mom always threatens me: I brought you into this world, I can bring you out of it too. That's why I only have 2 siblings left.
I wonder where the bodies are?
when Ted Bundy found out he was getting the death penalty he was pretty shocked...
