Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Lawyer

    • You find yourself stuck in a hole with a murderer, a rapist, and a lawyer. You're armed, but you only have 2 bullets left. What do you do?

    Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

  • 12

    • Bathroom

    • So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

  • 2

    • Dog

    • Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

    I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

  • 2

    • Evidence

    • If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

  • 8

    • Nightmare

    • I had a horrible nightmare yesterday. I was in a room filled with all of my ex's, so I was completely alone.

  • 3

    • Friend

    • The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."

  • 7

    • Cousin

    • My little cousin's birthday was in a few days, and his mom said he wanted Hot Wheels. So I sent him a video of me pushing a paralyzed kid into fire and screaming "HOT WHEELS!"

  • 0