Morbid Jokes

How to know if your wife is dead ; well the sex is still trash ;but the dishes really start to pile up

Police: Where do u live Me: With my parents Police: Where your parents live Me: With me Police: Where do you all live Me: Together Police: where is your house Me: Next to my neighbor Police: Where is your neighbor’s house Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me Police: Tell me Me: Next to my house

A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says who the fucks be fucking my wife the room goes silent, the guy in the back finishes his beer and says you ain't got enough bullets.

Just noticed something all celebrities die bad except for Elvis he had a relief after Taco Bell 🔔

I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am wan kin the chef." I said that I'll come back later

what was juice wrld before he was famous?

answer: alive

Whats the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out

What is a suicide packs favorite song... Let the bodies hit floor

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

seizure salad

One time this kid came back from school and said "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said "Good news please.'' and the boy said "I got 100% on my math test today" and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said "Now to the bad news, I LIED"