Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Bitch

    • So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.

    So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...

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    • Meat

    • I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"

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    • Aunt

    • Aunt: On the internet, buying weight loss pills for 15 dollars.

    Niece: I found that show on Netflix that you wanted to watch. It's 3 dollars to watch.

    Aunt: I'm not paying for that shit.

    Niece: Yet you sit there and buy weight loss pills.

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    • Firework

    • How do you start a dance party?

    Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.

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    • Taco

    • One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.

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    • Mum

    • Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?

    Mum?

    Mum?

    Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!

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    • Moment

    • The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

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    • Swear word

    • What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?

    In the U.K., it's a swear word.

    In America, it's a family reunion.

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