Morbid jokes
I hope death is a woman That way she'll never look at me twice
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
Women.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
A killer gone up to 5 people and killed 4 of them. There were 2 couples and 1 third wheel. The 5th one was left single out...
Q: What were my son's last words before he died?
A: "Bye, Dad, I am going to school."
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.
No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Today, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
To all the children on this website, hello!!!!! Hey!!!! How is life treating you?
(BTW I'm a kid, too. I'm Hayley, and I'm turning 13. My B-day is 10/08/2008.)
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.