Morbid jokes
9/11 is the biggest game of Jenga... ;)
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?
There's brains all over the place.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
I like my girlfriends like my children: dead.
The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rabid cow.
Rabid cow who?
Hold on, I need to get my gun....
I'm in school shooting. #USA
Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To get to the other side (suicide).
Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flatmate.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.
Girlfriends are just like AK47s; they always go off on you.
You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.
What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?
I give a fuck if my computer crashes.
What game hurts you the more stages you survive?
Cancer.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
If you're a girl, please comment.
Me: I bombed the 2 tests yesterday.
Friend: What were the tests about?
Me: Japan.