Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Rottweiler

What do you get when you cross a bunny and a Rottweiler? Just the Rottweiler.

You're the bunny, and I'm the Rottweiler.

Lube

What do you do when your baby starts screaming?

Use more lube.

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  • Interview

    I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

    Brain

    What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common?

    There's brains all over the place.

    Cancer

    The Make-A-Wish Foundation has gone too far. All of the Make-A-Wish kids asked for cancer to be gone, so they just gave the cancer to all of the Make-A-Wish kids.

    Cow

    Knock, knock.

    Who's there?

    Rabid cow.

    Rabid cow who?

    Hold on, I need to get my gun....

    Casket

    Pass around the roses, their casket full of hoses, crash it, watch it, the water! OH SHIT IT'S GONNA BLOW!

    Difference

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?

    The look on their face when you're nailing them.

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  • Hedgehog

    Why did the hedgehog cross the road?

    To get to the other side (suicide).

    Why did the second hedgehog cross the road?

    To see his flatmate.

    Feminist

    How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.

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  • Weed

    You should never try Afghan weed because people in Afghanistan get stoned to death.

    Paul Walker

    What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer?

    I give a fuck if my computer crashes.

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