Morbid jokes
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
Lol, I switched out my friend's leukemia medication for mercury.
Like and comment if you get it!
Why can't America play chess?
They're missing two towers.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"Boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
If I was in a room with Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Hitler, and my greatest enemy, I would pour out the bullets and beat my enemy with the gun.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
"I created the Human Torch."
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Where did Amy go after the explosion?
Everywhere.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad because they ordered pepperoni sandwiches, but they got two planes?
Feminism.
Nobody:
The Vietcong when America lands on their beaches:
tReE pOwErS aCtIvAtE!
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
What is Juan the junkmail dispenser's nickname? Spic and spam.
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dad!
Dad who?
*Silence*
I knew this one guy who liked to swim with the fishes, then the mob got a hold of 'em...
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.