Morbid jokes
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: .....it...
Friend: No
Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!
Friend: Why are you like this?
What's similar between a fetus and a failed mission?
You abort it.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
Children who are unvaccinated are less likely to have autism. You know why?
-You have to be alive to have autism.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
My wife caught me fucking our daughter. I don't know what she found worse: the fact I was fucking our daughter, or that the clinic gave me the fetus.
I'm required by law to tell you I am a registered sex offender.