Morbid jokes
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
Santa said my mom was good... But she is on the naughty list.
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
Look at a bag of black grapes. See how dark they are? That’s how I like my men.
25 at a time.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.
I want coffee like my men.
Dark.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Joe Biden
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What do you say to a kid in a trash compactor?
You looking a little square.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
Shaenaya is single, 16, and looking for a 30 year old man that can pleasure her, huh?
"I’m sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing.
Except at a funeral.
There is a man and a woman on a date.
The woman asked what kind of things do you love?
The table starts to lift up on the man's side and the man says sorry.
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!