Morbid jokes
What do you call a pansexual pedophile? Jesus.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What's the difference between a T-Rex and your sister? I can't stick my dick in a dinosaur.
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
How do you poop?
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
What's the difference between apples and dead babies?
I don't ejaculate on apples before I eat them.
This comment section is so dark, it could be Lil Huddy.
Two boys are talking on the bus.
Boy 1: I feel like I'm forgetting something.
Boy 2: Hey, did you hear about that school shooting last week?
Boy 1: Oh, that's right.
Cleveland Browns
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a child?
You can’t abuse an alligator.
Why did Timmy throw the clock out the window?
It reminded him of Arnold Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife.
Roses are red, your mother has said, "Come back again, and you'll be dead!"
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.