Morbid jokes
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
I wish my grass was edgy...
then it would cut itself...
I have a huge thought: if Satan punishes people who are bad, doesn't that make him good?
Why do gay kids always fail exams ? Becuz they can't think straight
Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."
"I created the Human Torch."
What is worse than a baby spinning at a hundred miles per hour on a washing line?
Hitting it off with a cricket bat.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
Don't you hate it when you do the dishes, but then you realize it wasn't the dishes?
What's the difference between a white kid and a computer?
The child has no trouble shooting.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
Q: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
A: To hide up cherry trees.
Q: What's the loudest noise in the jungle?
A: Giraffes eating cherries.
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
I was gardening and found a chest full of blood... I forgot I was in the cemetery.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.