Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

A boy and girl are fucking. The girl yells "Senpai!" The boy smiles, pleased, but then her father walks in and says "What?"

My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.

So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"

This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"

In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.

Why?

They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.

And my driver's license got revoked too.

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."

What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?

Non-buy dairy.