Morbid jokes
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
Man, my Muslim friend's the bomb!
Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"
What do you call an Iraqi swimming in the water?
A bath bomb.
I wanted to see if she was anorexic, so I threw a Funyun at her to see if she'd use it as a hula hoop or inhale it.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Lol, these jokes have been heard millions of times.
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
What's the most unrealistic part of Harry Potter?
A ginger with friends.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
"Nihha scarborough face."